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Resolving Conflict: How to Make, Disturb, and Keep Peace (Priolo)

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P&R Publishing

Many Christians see conflict as a dirty word—something wrong to be avoided at all costs. After all, aren’t Christians to be peacemakers who strive to maintain unity? But, as Lou Priolo reminds us, many other things that the Bible exhorts us to do—including its commands to convict, rebuke, and admonish other Christians—make conflict a necessary part of the Christian life.

Lou takes us through the biblical principles of conflict resolution, beginning before conflict even starts. He shows us the prerequisites we must have as we go into conflict, what is at the heart of our conflict, when it is biblical and unbiblical, and how we should respond to it. He also shares practical steps and advice, giving us specific talking points to resolve conflict and journaling exercises to help us to grow when it happens. Learn how to “make every effort” to maintain unity—even when that effort involves conflict first!


Table of Contents:

Part One: Prerequisites for Conflict Resolution

1. Prerequisite One: Humility

2. Prerequisite Two: Gentleness

3. Prerequisite Three: Patience

4. Prerequisite Four: Loving Forbearance

Part Two: Biblical Principles of Conflict Resolution

5. Three Types of Conflict

6. Love Communicates

7. Responding to Reproof

8. Getting to the Heart of Conflict

9. Unbiblical Responses to Conflict: Internal

10. Unbiblical Responses to Conflict: External

11. Conflict-Resolving Questions

12. You Put the Words Right into My Mouth

13. Have We Gone Too Far?

14. The Hidden Prerequisite

Appendix A: How to Use a Conflict Journal

Appendix B: Conflicts with Unbelievers

Appendix C: Biblical Alternatives to Commonly Used 



Lou Priolo is the founder and president of Competent to Counsel International and is an instructor with Birmingham Theological Seminary. He has been a full-time biblical counselor since 1985 and is a fellow of the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. Lou lives in Birmingham, Alabama, with his wife Kim and his daughters Sophia and Gabriella.



“Conflicts are like forest fires. If you can put them out while they’re still small, you can save an enormous amount of time and effort. That’s why this book is so valuable: it provides simple, biblically sound, and incredibly effective insights for resolving conflict in its earliest stages, when it still involves only two people. If you learn and practice these principles, you will spend more time enjoying the people around you—rather than fighting prolonged relational fires.” — Ken Sande, President, Relational Wisdom 360; Author, The Peacemaker

“Everything Lou writes is helpful, practical, and biblical because of his wisdom gained through years of counseling experience and his love for God’s Word.” — Jim Newheiser, Executive Director, Institute for Biblical Counseling and Discipleship